WE FIND YOU UNWORTHY

or, "Not What I Look Like in Real Life"

Hello! I'm JF, an angsty teenager (natch) whose job it is to make you hate my guts - indeed, as per my eighth grade social studies teacher, my very existence has already irreparably ruined your day. Helping me in my quest to make you hate me is

  1. My opinions are very likely to not be yours, which makes me naturally suck right out of the gate
  2. I'm hyperlexic (in a nutshell: it's autism ＷＩＴＨ  ＥＮＨＡＮＣＥＤ  ＲＥＡＤＩＮＧ  ＳＫＩＬＬＳ！...yeah, not very impressive)
  3. I'm somehow horribly depressed but also The Pollyanna at the same time, which generally leads to me making promises I can't possibly deliver on (I have a hunch I've got some form of bipolar depression)
  4. I am a big liar, because I have no medical qualifications for the last two points

Somehow I'm still functional enough to be able to make content for this website, but it's really hard when I have four different people at school alone all complaining about how much I suck while conveniently forgetting about my faux-depression, even though I've opened up about it time and again (remember that I'm hyperlexic, and therefore fit the bill for an IEP). As for the content...

  1. It all sucks right off the bat because my opinions probably aren't yours and that's just the way the cookie crumbles on the internet
  2. I often fall victim to particularly nasty Schedule Slip in everything I do, including my webcomic that hasn't been updated in over a year after just one issue
  3. My work ethic was shot in seventh grade in step with my symptoms of depession first appearing and hasn't come back despite my best efforts (I have several gold honor roll certificates from my old school, so I did actually have one at some point - I'm a sophomore in high school now...!)
  4. I cannot write a competent story to save my life, so gag-a-day style comedy and ripping myself to shreds for you are the only things I'm competent at
  5. Despite being born in 2002, I'm nostalgic for the 80s and 90s to a fault - my first site failed because of it...
  6. I've broken copyright law in some of the content, which means my personal pride and joy should be banned at my school (I started working on this site there, so I'm willing to bet that they'll try and expel me for academic dishonesty the instant it becomes popular)

As for my interests...

  1. I have a knack for buying video game equipment for one specific thing and not the platform as a whole: Notice that nowhere did I mention the Xbox series - its failed to impress me time and again, and now you can hate me for that too!
  2. I exclusively eat products including raisins for lunch
  3. My favorite bands are all obscure groups that you've never heard of before (face the music - have you ever heard of Curly Curve or Keep Left before now?)
  4. In general, for any given area of interest I like most things except for one or two things I really hate - for example, I like most sports but hate basketball with a burning passion

All this opens up a question I really hope I'll be able to answer someday - they keep telling you to be yourself, but what happens when it makes everyone else think you suck? Now that you know everything about me, go look at another site that's a lot less depressing.

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